everets:

*takes off shirt in front of girl* you like this? i got this pink line from sitting down for a long time. sometimes i get two lines.

(via trust)

alecwoodlight:

im still counting on one last wave of puberty to come really late and make me hot

(Source: alrightevans, via trust)

  • me: i'm gonna live my life to the fullest!
  • me: watches 17 episodes of a tv series in a row
  • gurlfriend: happy fathers day
  • bf: but im not a dad
  • gf: :)

allonsyforever:

mugglebornheadcanon:

501. Muggleborns accidentally calling Dumbledore “Gandalf”.

"accidentally"

(via f-f-fuckme)

sceptre:

when you see your best friend hanging out with someone you hate

image

(Source: SCEPTRE, via f-f-fuckme)

ernbarassing:

the better my hair looks the better i function in school

(Source: ernbarassing, via f-f-fuckme)

hod-the-blind:

dx11:

mancermechro:

not sure why people don’t automatically say “shapeshifting” when asked what they want their superpower to be. you could become anyone you want. even fictional characters. anyone. cosplay would always be spot-on. dysphoria wouldn’t exist. perfection

rob a bank and disguise yourself as a stray pen lying on a shelf when the cops come

A pen with a shit ton of money lying next to it.

(via trust)

zeklos:

foreverdepressedteen:

allhailtheboyking:

IM GOING TO SCREAM IM IN CLASS AND THESE GIRLS WHO BULLIED ME IN 5TH GRADE ARE WHISPERING AND THEYRE LIKE

"holy shit did she go to our elementary school"

"i dont know if thats her"

"i rly dont think thats her guys"

AND THE TEACHER CALLED MY NAME AND THEY GO

"holy shit shes hot"

THIS

IS

THE

FUCKING

L I F E

YOU FUCKING GO IM PROUD OF YOU

OWN IT FOR ALL OF US

(Source: solarcrashx, via harmoniesinthebreeze)

11
sleeping-with-tyler:

Just trying to be like all the sexy girls on here :0

rocknrollercoaster:

it must be really wild to actually have a positive relationship with your father

like

?????

some people really have that????

that’s incredibe

(via i-am-your-stag)

owlwright:

me: *drinks water* health god

(via trust)

so-personal:

everything personal
robinsonsmiley:

arandomwhitedude:

baby-snails:

lucas bit my ass and this truly terrifying thing happened

Booty so powerful his soul is trapped inside

Shadow Realm

emmugh:

I like new friends because I can reuse old jokes

(via trust)